When my mind is ever-spinning and
I don’t know how I feel,
And my thoughts they won’t stop whirling
Like the circle within a wheel.
It’s confusing, ever-changing, makes me dizzy
Feeling bad,
I don’t know if what is happening makes me happy,
Makes me sad,
All I know is my inability to make it stop
just really makes makes me mad.
Cannot find to brake to activate, the end of all this
pain,
The never-still confusion, spinning in my mind
is making me insane.
I can’t bring to the end the harmful whispers,
accusations that I am wrong,
Like today when I woke up reciting lyrics from
a long-forgotten song.
When I began this journey so long ago
I was so confident I’d see,
It through from start to finish and that
I could simply let it be what it must be.
Now I wonder if the task taken on is
too great for me to bear,
As it seems to be pulling me under,
it’s like quicksand in my hair,
Dragging me I know not where,
Like a maelstrom sucking me under,
Conflicting currents as they enmesh,
The roaring tides the carry onwards
And life’s breakers as on the rocks they crash.
If I don’t break the cycle soon, I know that
I will surely find,
The delusional destruction will be complete.
I’ll have completely lost my mind.
So as sleep continues to elude me,
and my tattered thoughts they fail to
make any sense,
The way through this complex maze
Is leading me I know not whence,
I can only hope the destination is in sight
And eventually I’ll see
Where all this confusion is leading to
And I’ll be liberated – free!
14 April 2014
Debbie Larmour - Storyteller 